I said I was going to use the next three weeks and make decisions soley based upon what my intuition was telling me, and I have. Though it isn’t easy to just turn off the thoughts of the mind, I have been doing the best I can to catch myself when I notice myself second guessing what I have been feeling.
Catching yourself, I believe, is half the battle.
While writing my last post, I was in a space in which I wanted to quit my job and do something else that I feel served me a bit more. I interviewed at two places and both I made it to the final rounds. I had been interviewed by Sr. Executives, CEO’s and all – I had great feelings about both but really wanted the one. I knew that I was going to get the one that I really wanted but entertained the second only because I didn’t want to be a jerk because I was expecting the offer that same day the second interview was done. I didn’t actually want it and I spoke that into existence. I didn’t get that job. Phew!
There was no doubt about me getting this job. I walked around telling myself it was my job and I was so excited to start. “The offer letter is coming today, I know it. They are writing it up as I say this.” The power of positive thought, right? It seemed like a great gig! I would have my own office, do things I enjoyed doing and still would be doing some work that I was currently doing so that was fine. But something in me felt a bit off about it. I pushed that feeling aside and just kept with positive thoughts about it. Heck, I was going to have my own office!
That day came and went. That’s OK – the guy told me we should have an answer by the next day – but it didn’t come. Then the recruiter stopped responding to me after my third attempt to get an answer.
The weekend came and went and then Monday came. Still nothing. I finally reached out to a peer of the recruiter. I Googled until I found him. He called me back and the job was no longer available to me. “They really enjoyed talking with you and mulled over the decision. It wasn’t easy for them. I’m sorry.”
To be honest, I wasn’t shocked. Though I had that excitement of the new job and everything it came with, there was something deep that made me feel I wanted this job for all the wrong reasons. This wasn’t the job for me and clearly I knew it but because I was so desperate to get out of my current job, I let all the feelings overpower what I knew to be true and ended up in the end, letting myself down.
When I was able to step back and take a look at what happened, I started to view this as a positive thing. What were all the good things I had with this job?
Flexibility (work from home, come in late, leave early)
Loved the people I worked with
Good pay
Mediation areas
Just that in itself were great things to have in a job – I just lacked the feeling of being useful, of putting my potential to use. But heck, I still didn’t know what my potential was….I just know it’s much bigger than what I am doing.
The next week (so this week that just passed), I was accidentally introduced to a video by Esther Hicks. Esther has the ability to tap into infinite intelligence to help the world really, live an amazing life. Many of these talks are about the Law of Attraction.
When I heard about the Law of Attraction before, such as things like The Secret ect, I left it having an attitude as being “this isn’t going to work for me” and though heard about it often, from the time The Secret came out until now, I just let the knowledge slide off my back because there were just too many people trying to talk about this that it got me confused.
The first video I saw resonated so deeply with me that I sat at the working table (because I couldn’t get a desk) with 5 co-op students sitting around and across from me, with tears rolling down my face. I didn’t have time to stop them. Have you ever had that feeling that got to you so hard and so quickly that you just burst out in tears? It was like that, minus the sounds that crying comes with. I lift my head back in order for the tears to roll another way off my face so the kids wouldn’t see me crying. I turned wuickly to get out of my seat and went for a walk.
After I composed myself and took in what I just heard from that video, I went back to finish it. Then another video came on after that. It struck yet another chord and confirmed everything that I had been thinking and feeling not only about the whole job situation but about my life. About my inability to let things come as they need. I work too hard and push too hard. I give up before I can succeed. Everything this woman (Abraham if you will) was saying was piercing through my heart and before I knew it, 8 hours had passed. I did pretty much no work that day. I simply sat and listened.
I have been going through the past few years trying to understand so many things as it pertained to my life. Doing good, being positive and not trying to analyze things or push too hard. But what I didn’t realize was that I was doing it all wrong. I have been living the life of most resistance, not least resistance. I have been desiring and wanting things yet getting in my own way of allowing them to come through.
She talks about a Vortex and over the past two weeks I have been hearing a lot about this Vortex but in many different ways. Basically, it’s being in the same vibration of the Source, the Source of all things good. Call it God if you will.
But what does it feel like to be in this presence? This is the presence of joy, happiness, love, positivity, kindness; all things good. Every good feeling you have is being in the presence of this Vortex. It’s pretty much just not allowing the negative into your life. When you are inspired and you get all revved up, you are in the Vortex – inspiration starts to flow and things just work and come together:; that is the Vortex working. Staying positive even when we feel as though there is nothing positive to be grateful about, that helps get you into the Vortex. Feeling joy, happiness and love, picking out the good through what feels like the bad, that gets you into the Vortex and once you are in the Vortex, that’s when the Law of Attraction really starts to work for the best!
I have watched hours upon hours of the work of Abraham and have been deeply inspired. I can now understand what and how the Law of Attraction works. As I continue to learn more deeply about this, I take a look around me, at situations, people and every interaction I have in my life with a whole new view. I have continually been pushing myself out of the Vortex even though I thought I was pushing myself into – I just thought that things would go wrong or not work out because the Universe was punishing me. But that’s far from it. I was blocking myself simply by my thoughts – my unintentional thoughts.
It’s quite simple, really.
I love this spiritual journey I have been on for the past five years. It has slowly opened up my mind and eyes to so many things. It’s interesting to see the way in which how I was opened up and how I am shown each time, something different. It’s definitely like peeling a banana….very, very slowly. đŸ™‚ I have learned to be patient, not only with my kids which I feel is most important, but for my life. I have learned I need to open my heart and once I open my heart, my life can have a whole new meaning.
Living my life in a space of love, joy, happiness and positivity is the key to bringing me everything I want.
Just watch.
I See Zen People 